


Fate, Love, and Disaster Gays

by Sleepless_in_Starbucks



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, Multi, Not really a slow burn, They're all gay disasters, Trans!Virgil, agender!Emile, and will write more in the future, as in i still like this fic, beware that there will be no updates soon, but that future is VERY far away, but the getting together takes a bit, genderfluid!Remy, or at least eventual swearing, so if you read, teen for swearing, that's the entire fic in a sentence folks, unfinished but not discontinued
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 19:22:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20376823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleepless_in_Starbucks/pseuds/Sleepless_in_Starbucks
Summary: If you had told Remy he'd end up dating the ray-of-sunshine tattoo artist across the street and the intimidating bouncer visiting them both, she would have told you ze doesn't even ask people out, much less date them.Turns out, you can do both without even realizing it.Two's company, three's a crowd, and Virgil hates crowds.But for the boisterous librarian and sweet local actor, he's willing to make an exception.





	Fate, Love, and Disaster Gays

**Author's Note:**

> Okay y'all, this fic is the first multi-chapter fic I've posted that wasn't previously finished out. And I'm about to go back into school, meaning updates to this are going to be all over the place, and I apologize for that. But I do promise, even if it's haphazard, I will try my hardest to keep this fic updating!  
Also, please check the end notes for the Tumblrs of the people who originally brainstormed the idea!! They're all amazing, and I wouldn't have enough ideas to found this fic on without them.

Remy had three things: a problem, a roommate, and a strong belief in sharing his issues with the world. Today, the part of ‘the world’ would be played by Virgil, who was currently looking at Remy from over his phone, much too annoyed given Remy’s problem was very earth-shattering and required IMMEDIATE attention.

“Have you tried putting a bag over their head?”

“Babes, that’s almost as bad as your idea for me to stop visiting them.”

“I suggested you stop eating every single lunch with them.” Virgil corrected, flicking through his phone, more interested in it than the conversation. “Honestly, Rem, ever since Emile opened their parlor you’ve been vying to spend every free minute with them.”

Remy shrugged with a broad grin. “Wouldn’t you want to spend your every free minute with beauty incarnate?”

At this, Virgil snorted, shaking his head like Remy had told him a joke. “Good one.”

“If you think I was kidding, sugar, we’re going to have a serious talk.”

Virgil looked up from his phone, lowering it into his lap. “I know you weren’t kidding. Doesn’t make you any less wrong.”

“Are you daring to challenge Emile’s place as prettiest person alive?” Remy asked. “What other mortal could hold such a lofty position?”

“I can name two.”

Remy groaned and flopped backwards on the couch. “Oh my Starbucks, I swear, if this is about Mr. Beauty-and-the-Books and Mr. Local-Actor-with-a-Heart-of-Gold, I will lose it.”

The tips of Virgil’s ears turned red. “Who?!”

“Y’know, uh, cute librarian and cute actor.” Remy said, waving his hand pointlessly before snapping his fingers. “Roman and Patton! The two boys you will not shut up about!”

“I don’t talk about them  _ that _ much…” Virgil mumbled, his face quickly turning the same shade as his ears.

“If your definition of ‘that much’ doesn’t mean ‘every single day,’ then sure, you don’t talk about them that much.”

“Not like dealing with your Emile pining is much better!” Virgil snapped back.

“Well how do you suggest we resolve that issue?” Remy asked, not even remotely serious. “By actually telling them how I feel?”

“Sure.” Virgil responded.

“But what do I get?”

“We make it a bet.” Virgil offered, putting out his hand. “First one to ask their crush or crushes out gets the satisfaction of winning, and the loser has to confess the next day. Sound fair?”

Remy looked at Virgil’s outstretched hand, as if seriously considering the offer, before bursting out laughing, Virgil joining him just a moment later.

“Oh, oh that was good.” Remy said after a moment, wiping a nonexistent tear out of the corner of his eye. “I nearly thought you were serious!”

“What gave it away?” Virgil asked playfully. “The fact that I’m an anxious mess who can’t make a phone call, much less ask one person out, much much less TWO, or the fact that you’re a disaster who’s longest commitment was to a one-hundred hour sleep strike?”

“The fact that you wanted to shake on it.” Remy replied. “Knowing you, you’d want to swear it on the River Styx or something. Shaking’s too bland for you, sugar.”

Virgil finger gunned at him before looking at his phone once more, sighing after a moment and saying, “We’re so lonely.”

“You know it!” Remy said cheerfully. “But we can be lonely together!”

“The only reason I associate with you is because you pay rent.”

“Sure.” Remy pulled his phone out of his pocket, pushing it towards Virgil while holding it aloft. “To being sad, lonely bastards forever?”

Virgil rolled his eyes but he still held his phone out as well, pretending to chink it against Remy’s like a champagne glass. “To interpreting ‘Death of a Bachelor’ a little more literally than intended.”

“Huzzah.” Remy deadpanned, fake sipping it before using it for its intended purpose, Virgil doing the same. They were both quite sure in their futures as awkward, sarcastic singles until the grave.

Too bad fate, love, and a handful of equally disasterful gays had other plans.

**Author's Note:**

> My Tumblr: @sleepless-in-starbucks  
Wonderful friendo Tumblrs: @storytellerofuntoldlegends @notveryglittery @blinksinbewilderment @blazingstarininkyblackness @potestessemagishomosexualitatis


End file.
